New Year Same Me

As the new year is approaching, I’m tempted to start making all these goals and resolutions for 2021 just as I am every new year. But just like most people, those new year “resolutions” rarely hold through for very long. This year some of us barely survived and that is okay! Sometimes, unmet goals can leave me feeling discouraged or even give me anxiety so I’m not trying to do that to myself in a year that did not turn[Read more]

A Christmas Time Devotional

The girls and I have been reading the Christmas story this past week. They shared a memory verse as well as some of their thoughts on what the birth of Jesus means to them with our bible talk group on Friday night. The memory verse that they shared was from Isaiah 9:6: For to us a child is born,     to us a son is given,     and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called     Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,[Read more]

2020 Mountains and Valleys

As I’m typing this blog post, I am listening to the song “Graves into Gardens” by Brandon Lake and Elevation Worship. This song has been on repeat since we had our baby girl this past August. The lyrics ring so true for me. “The God of the mountain is the God of the valley.” I feel like this line is so relevant for 2020. Personally, some of this year has definitely been a valley. My anxiety has run rampant this[Read more]

Three Easter Reminders About Jesus

As Easter is approaching I thought it would be a good idea to do a quick devotional on a passage I came across in John.  A facebook memory came up the other day. It was from Easter a few years ago. Do you ever see Facebook memories and think “Man, I really had no idea what life was getting ready to throw at me.” And then I get a little scared wondering what life will look like in the next[Read more]

3 names of God to study out when times get tough

  Early on in my grief journey, I was angry with God.  I couldn’t see Him, I couldn’t feel Him, and I’ll be honest, during those very dark times I didn’t want to see Him or feel Him. I felt like he had abandoned me, like he had turned a deaf ear on me. And I just couldn’t understand how He could possibly be good.  A few weeks after we lost our baby boy, my brother in law came in[Read more]

4 ways to honor your angel baby on your due date

You should be here, here in my arms. Crying, sneezing, hiccuping. Smelling of that all too familiar newborn smell. Wrapped in a white, pink, and blue blanket; nestled in my chest. You should be here, searching for me; knowing my smell. Instead, I’m here searching for you. Everywhere. Anywhere. Just to get a glimpse of you; to feel your presence. In the morning glow, the afternoon sunshine, the evening breeze. I search for you everywhere; in every thing. And I[Read more]

4 Ways to Cope With Grief

  It’s been almost 5 months since we lost our baby boy at 15 weeks pregnant. When I say these past 5 months have been the hardest months of my life, I’m in no way exaggerating. I have never felt this type of intense grief in my life.  My husband and I have had 2 previous pregnancy losses. I grieved over our babies during that time. But this time has been completely different. This time I was further along. This[Read more]

3 Promises of Heaven

  He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11 This scripture gets me every time. It speaks to the depths of my soul because it is so true. We are not meant for this world. Our heart knows it, our mind knows it, even our body knows it. As humans, we are always longing for something[Read more]

This Is Miscarriage

  My right arm hurts. It’s where they gave me the Rhogham shot because I have O- blood. The nurse said “This is for future pregnancies.” I felt like telling her “I know, I’ve had this shot countless times already. Why even bother this time? I’m not planning on having any future pregnancies.” My tongue is swollen and sore. Because I bit it while I was under anesthesia and they shoved a breathing tube down my throat to keep me[Read more]

Struggles of a Stay at Home Mama

My oldest daughter turned 4 a couple of months ago. FOUR! I can’t believe it! It has been an amazing 4 years and I honestly don’t know how we ever lived without her. As I reflect on her past 4 years of life, I also can’t help but think about what those 4 years mean for me. They mean that I have been at home for 4 years. That is absolutely mind blowing to me. I never thought that I[Read more]