Hey there, I’m Amanda and this is my blog. Well, duh! To be honest, I really am not sure what I should be blogging about for my first time. I’ve been doing A LOT of research over the past few months on starting a blog; been getting a lot of advice from people who have been there before. But I have a confession, I still have absolutely NO idea what I am doing. Some places said not to write a “This is why I started a blog” as your first post, to save that for the ‘about me’ section. Others said to go ahead and do it. I don’t know, I’m so lost but I’ve decided to just do me and do what feels right. And this feels right. My goal for this blog is for it to be a place of inspiration for people. And to start off I’ll fill you in on my inspiration for starting a blog.
THIS! Ugh that vulnerability will get you EVERY time. It’s so scary and overwhelming and one of the main reasons I put off starting a blog for so long. Or at least starting a public blog (more on that in a bit). You see I have this perception in my mind of what I want my life to look like to others on the outside. I don’t want them to see the ugly parts of my life, the messy, complicated, painful, and imperfect parts. I mean, who does? But this is also the exact same reason I decided that I needed to do it…
A little over 2 years ago, my husband and I experienced 2 miscarriages in a span of 6 months. My friends, this is my greatest pain: losing my babies. I didn’t want to risk exposing my greatest pain to the world. I didn’t want the perception of my life to be tainted with this loss. I also knew that the more I shared this with people, the more real it would have been for me. I would have had to admit and endure the pain I was going through. It was too much for me at the time, it was the most difficult time of my life.
But it was also the inspiration to start a blog. But wait, you just said that you put off starting a blog, Amanda? Well actually, a little after it happened, I found myself with the urge to just write and put all of my feelings out there; so I started a blog but didn’t tell anyone haha (except my best friend, Casey). And here we are, a year and a half later and I have that same itch to share our story but this time I want to be brave and share it with all of you.
And the reason that I want to be brave this time is because I found that once I started writing, I started healing. I also found that once I started talking to more and more people about what I was going through, I wasn’t alone. This is another reason I wanted to share my story, to let others know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! If you’ve lost a baby to miscarriage, I’ve been there. I know how you feel and I want to help you.
This is just a very small part of our story, but it is something that I will always carry with me. I will never forget my angel babies. I think about both of them every day and wonder who they would have been, what their laughs would have sounded like, how old they would be, the way I will never get to hold, cuddle, or watch them grow. But I am grateful for the short time I got to carry them inside of me and the hope I have that I WILL see them again.
I won’t always blog about this, but it does help my healing process. I hope to share about our girls, my journey as a stay at home mom, our family, our faith, and our home (I LOVE interior decorating). Oh and wellness, I hope to offer some tips that we use in our family to stay on track. I have my Master’s degree in Health Promotion, so I know a thing or two ;).
Oh and by the way, this lovely picture that is featured is my beautiful family. We took this picture at Torrey Pines State Park in San Diego, while we visited this past summer! My husband and I have been married for 7.5 years (we got married when we were 19, that story will definitely be blog post material one day haha) and we have 2 beautiful daughters. Cami is 3 years old and Ale is 9 months old. Cami loves dinosaurs and Ale loves mama!
I pray that this little blog can be an inspiration and encouragement for anyone that happens to come across it. Let me know in the comments section if you’ve been through a similar experience and what you have learned. And don’t forget to click the link to subscribe to my blog, so you can get updates whenever I write!